Harder than I thought...

So, I'm only a couple days in to my transformation. The night I wrote the first blog post, I knew that becoming submissive was going to be a challenge for me, but I was under the assumption that I'd at least make it a couple days without exerting the need to control.

I was wrong. I definitely underestimated the work it would take to "transform."

I'm having difficulty trying to determine what fits into the category of what is necessary for submission. Is it really everything? I mean, even if I trust that my husband doesn't want to just mess with me... do I really need to submit to him in all things? Like... even when he suggests that I get to work on those homemade thank you gifts I've been procrastinating on? Who does he think he is? I was the one who came up with that idea... I'll follow through with it when I'm good and ready. 

Father God: Daughter, I gifted you with ideas, with vision. You see possibilities. But you're somewhat weak on the follow-through. 

Me: Yeah, I have a lot of incomplete projects, don't I?

Father God: But he is a motivator. He isn't good at getting things started... but he's good at making sure they get done.

Me: It's weird how we complete each other in that way.

Pride. Oh how I hate you, pride. My husband probably was just trying to help me by reminding me to work on something... and I just had to let him know that I was planning on doing it already. Another way of saying, "I don't need you... I can do it myself."

So where does that come from, I wonder? I think I have always felt the need to prove that I can do things myself... that I am capable... that I am good enough. And those things are true. However, what is better than ONE person who is capable and good enough, doing things alone? 

Ecclesiastes 4:12

"A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken."

How do married people show a reflection of God's image? God is: Father, Son, Holy Spirit. They lean on each other for strength.

Marriage is: God, Husband, Wife. And a triple braided-cord is not easily broken. When I am weak, my husband is strong, and vice versa. I think the next step in my journey is to find out how I should utilize my strengths to help him acknowledge my weaknesses and be willing to accept his help, rather than assuming he is going to abuse his God-given authority. 

Me: God, please help me to trust my husband more. I really don't want to be afraid that he is going to hurt me. Why do I have so much anxiety about relinquishing control?

Father God: One step at a time. Don't worry, my child. I'll give you plenty of practice. 

Maybe this is a bad example... but I couldn't help but let my favorite Disney princess out :)